Once Upon a Jellybean
by obsidians
Summary: Tseng challenges Sephiroth to a bet. The question is; did he win or lose?
I do not own FF7 or its characters and don't make a single flat dime from writing this story.

Roll 'em

The Seventh Heaven bar was rocking it to the rooftops on a Friday night where everyone was having fun and getting silly. It was three feet deep to the bar and the booze flowing like it was going out of style…..except for the man standing ridged in the corner and balancing a jellybean on his nose.

Cloud looked at the oddly behaviouring ex-general."Hey Vincent, it is my imagination or is Sephiroth acting like he has a bigger stick up his ass than usual?" Cloud asked him.

"He's had half of a wine cooler accidently and is feeling no pain, so Tseng bet him that he can't keep that jellybean on his nose for ten minutes and he's doing it. If he can't, Tseng gets to smack him in his junk" Vincent explained.

"Who would agree to that?" Cloud asked.

"A drunken Sephiroth" Vincent said, looking at the statue like man.

"Come on, you can't do it" taunted a tipsy Tseng.

"Yes I can" Sephiroth said in a voice barely above as whisper.

"We'll see about that, anyone want to give him a little 'encouragement' to move?" Tseng asked.

"That's cheating" Sephiroth whispered, casting an evil glance on the TURK from the corner of his eye.

"Oh I'm _so_ going in, I _so_ owe him payback" Cloud said and went up to Sephiroth and undid his jacket and soon his tongue was swirling on the pale moons of his vunerable nipples.

"Stop that" Sephiroth said and bit his lips against his moans as he willed his body to remain still, when all he wanted to do was writhe forward to push the points of his nipples into that ravishing tongue.

"No effect? Cloud, I'm disappointed" Tseng chided.

"I'm just getting started" he said, sliding his jacket from Sephiroth, that made a resounding clunk as it hit the floor, attracting everyone's attention to the scene.

"You will cease this behaviour right now!" Sephiroth hissed and then almost twitched as his pants were undone and fell unsupported to the tops of his boots, revealing what the general _didn't_ wear under his uniform.

"What the hell are you…oh" he said as his weapon was taken into something hot and juicy feeling, as a tongue traced his hardening length, encouraging him to move and _right now_. Sephiroth was gasping inside as the throat attached to the mouth, took him to depths unknown until he felt weak in the knees, only years of strict army discipline kept him from groaning. He. Would. Not. Move. and there he stood nice and ridged with the cheerful pink jellybean balanced perfectly on the tip of his nose while getting the blow job of the century, while everyone in Seventh Heaven stood frozen in shock at the speculate of their mainly naked ex-enemy getting it on.

"Now that is _one_ fine ass" Vincent said, stroking Sephiroth's high and curvy rear in admiration. "Hey Tifa, do you have oil of any sort?" Vincent asked her.

"Lard" she answered.

"Bring it on" Vincent said.

"No you wouldn't dare!" Sephiroth protested as fingers soon caressed his p-spot and widened his shy passage until something much larger was inside of him and stretching him open in a way that caused him to groan aloud and then stopped when the jellybean wobbled precariously. It took every ounce of his strength to remain stock still as a hot wet mouth ravished his hypersensitive cock and Vincent slammed him like he was trying to flatten his very prostate as he hit it with each stroke, until Sephiroth longed to keel over and let the sensations take him away, but he remained stoic and the jellybean remained in place even when Vince came into his gripping tightness that caused Sephiroth, to empty into Cloud's hot mouth and yet, the jellybean remained in place!

"Time" said Tseng.

Sephiroth tossed the jellybean away. "I win" he said, triumphantly weaving in place. Then he realized most of men were looking at him with hungry expressions. "What?" he asked them before they charged and a pile of men were on him...and several women.

"Man he's even better tonight than the first night when he accidentally had a beer shandy and sang for us all. Who knew he knew that many show tunes?" someone commented, upon watching him taking it in every hole like a champion, while a woman rode him.

If there had been a camera there, it would have focused on the abandoned little jellybean laying innocently on its side, to take the scene away from the carnal view of the proud body of Sephiroth being reamed and creamed on the bar floor, to his absolute delight.

"Okay, enough" Tseng said. "Let's get him cleaned up, dressed and put him upstairs" he ordered everyone else, but only after he had taken his turn with the normally socially constipated Sephiroth.

The next day Vincent and Tseng were greeted by a highly hungover looking Sephiroth. "Hi, how did you sleep?" Tseng asked him.

"I do not recall most of the events of last night," he said. "I believe some of the drinks that were bought for me might have contained alcohol" he said with a groan.

"Oh that is horrible. I'll make sure that doesn't happen tonight" Vincent promised, clapping him on the shoulder, he winced at this.

"Tonight? I do not intend to come this evening. I seem to always have my drinks poisoned with alcohol, this messes with the mako in my system and I wake up with a sore head, a nasty taste in my mouth and a stabbing pain in my backside" he explained.

"Oh come on, we love having you here. You're the life of the party" Tseng practically begged him.

"Me? I don't recall _ever_ being described that way. But I suppose, I do so hate to disappoint people, though I cannot fathom what I could be contributing to their evenings. Very well, I shall see you tonight and I shall hold you to your word" he said walking away... and walking a little funny at that.

"Tseng you can be such an asshole" Vincent commented.

"Oh come on. Who are we really hurting? He can't remember a thing the next day, he heals from anything within seconds, he gets laid as he so badly needs to, all the people that want revenge on him literally get their pound of flesh, he's immune to any sexually transmitted diseases and Tifa has to sell tickets to get into the bar on the nights he's here. It's a win win situation for all if you ask me."

The Seventh Heaven bar was rocking it to the rooftops on a Saturday night where everyone was having fun and getting silly, when Sephiroth came in and wondered why it was even more crowded than usual.

"Sephiroth, come sit with us" Tseng greeted the taller man from the table where he sat with Vincent, indicating the to the last free seat left in the entire bar. Sephiroth did so and wondered why everyone was studying him with hungry expressions on their faces as if they wished to devour him. "Can I get you a drink?" Tseng asked him.

"I would like a Shirley Temple with extra cherries" he said and it seemed like the entire bar was waiting for his drink order, because several men sprang up.

"I'll get it" one man cried.

"No, me!" another one snapped, elbowing the first one aside and Sephiroth could only wonder at his sudden popularity.

"Too late, I was already here" another taunted the others from his superior position at the front of the bar. "You heard the man; a Shirley Temple with extra cherries...and make it a double" he said to Tifa.

"Certainly, but I get him first. A woman has needs too. My bar, my rules" she replied as she reached for the vodka.


End file.
